Today is my 35th birthday and I am grateful for where I am and where I am headed. Can I tell you where that is? Nope! And that is the beauty of it. For the first time, I don’t know, I don’t have any plans other than to get closer to the true me, and be a vessel for love. This is big for me. A goal-orientated in control perfectionist Virgo. But no more. I have come to a place where I am getting comfortable with surrendering.
I want to share with you something that I’ve been using for years but like a lot of things lately, it’s really only come into my consciousness that I am truly using this to transform my life and live a life that is of the perception of love. I have done lots of therapy over the years, lots of talk therapy, cognitive behaviour therapy, whilst they all have their place and benefits, and have all gotten me to the place that I am today, the one thing that I always fall back on is journaling.
Journaling is my therapist and it has been pivotal to returning to me.
I want to give you my 8 tips on how to deal with any situation that comes up in your life and how to allow your pen to freeflow as it did for me with creating these steps and many more breakthroughs. I find the best way to return to myself and ensure that I am not recycling thoughts and ideas of others but to ensure that it’s truly coming from within. I get my pen out, I get my journal out and I’ll let it roll from my soul.
These are my 8 steps that roll from my soul from my pen to paper and now to you.
1. Identify the anxiety that is in your body
In your journal create two columns. In the first column simply list all of your current worries and concerns. If you don’t know how or what they are thinking about the pain that you may be experiencing in certain parts of your body, meditate on this for a bit and see what comes forth. For example; it could be meeting up with a friend that you haven’t seen for a while, your surgery that’s happening on Friday, your dinner party that you’re hosting on Saturday night, or undertaking a new exercise regime. After you have listed these items, recognise without judgement that these are all fear-based reasonings, so let’s find out where they have come from?
2. Where have these fears originated from
In column two in your journal, list where you can think these fears may have originated from. You may need to do some inner child healing which I have linked one for you from the Holistic Psychologist or you may need to do further journaling to understand where these pains have come from. It is important to note that your ego is protecting you from any more fear that is to occur which is why these new fears are resurfacing. Some examples of where they may be coming from; if you are concerned or worried about starting a new health program you may be fearful that it won’t work or you have to let go of control, or release control and trust somebody else this could be from childhood trauma or conditioning from a parent. Is not judging the trauma or the parents this is just an opportunity for you to heal from this past pain. So without judgement of others and yourself, our goal is to just find where this fear-based reasoning has originated from. You may need to spend some time here. Do as much journaling, meditation and reflection as needed.
3. Highlight the common words that are appearing
When I first did this exercise for myself, two words kept on reappearing; perfectionism and loss of control. All my fears seemed different at first but the underlying problem was all the same; my fear of perfectionism and losing control. Highlight words which are the key issues that keep on reappearing with the trauma so we can work on this in the next section. Write in your journal that you are grateful for this opportunity and showing you an area that you need to heal. You are healing and moving into the stage, that is great and wonderful things are coming your way.
4. Where have these fears come from
Using the keywords that you have discovered in step 3 write them at the top of each page in your journal. It could be perfectionism, lack of control, lack of trust, lack of acceptance or judgement (all ‘lack of’). Now go a little bit deeper again, you can use your inner child meditation reflection or just let the pen flow and see where this perfectionism has come from where this conditioning and fear-based has come from. You’re not judging these thoughts, you are simply acknowledging them without judgement. This step is similar to step 2, however now we are focusing on these particular words.
5. Choose the opposite to these fears
I want you to recognise what is the opposite of these fear-based words. For example, control can be seen as surrender, perfectionism can now be seen as imperfection, untrustworthy and now be seen as trusting. These are your new words. Remember the words we repeat, think about or pay attention is the energy we manifest and create for us.
6. How have these old words NOT served you in the past
Using your old highlighted words (e.g. perfectionism and lack of control) put them at the top of your page. I want you to now write down all the times in your life that these fears have not served you. For example, when I try to control a relationship the relationship fails, when I tried to control or make my business perfect it didn’t provide the happiness that I was looking for when I try to achieve perfectionism I often felt like a hypocrite when it failed or I dropped the ball.
7. How have these new word served you in the past
Using your new highlighted words (e.g. surrender and imperfection) put them at the top of your page. I want you to list all the times in your life that these new words have served you in the past. For example, surrendering to meeting your soulmate, surrendering to allowing the miracle of children to occur, surrendering to the healing process of losing a parent, or surrendering to meeting a new friend.
8. Now it’s time to let go and receive
This is my favourite part, it’s time to do a prayer or blessing and let the Universe now look after you. Say out loud and write in your journal:
I release all control and perfectionism (insert your old words) as it has never served me. Surrender and imperfection (insert your new words) serve me because they only offer me my true path. I am grateful for both experiences and I am aware that surrendering (insert new word) is my higher self. Now I leave it in the hands of my guides and I am moving from fear to love.
Take a deep breath, close your eyes and ask the Universe to show you a sign, to ensure that you’re on the right path. Whatever image comes to you when you do this, write this word down (eg. a daisy, an orange, a crow, a house, 243 etc), make sure you ask the Universe to show you this within the next 24 hours to remind you that you are on the right path and you are being looked after. Don’t search for this, it could come to you in any way (in a book, on a tv show, through a person, in a dream, in a physical object) you will know when it does, release control and let go and know the Universe is working for you.
Love to you all darling friends.