Recently it all hit me, I was absolutely petrified of living a life of being trapped in my mind, my heart getting constantly crushed, I’ve felt so frustrated with myself for allowing “other” people/situations get to me and I got annoyed that for 34 years, I was still reacting to others and allowing them to determine how I felt about myself. It was causing a huge internal storm for me. Have you ever done “ego” work? This is something I am currently in the ‘thick’ of right now.
Other than it being quite challenging, I am finding it so fascinating.
The ego is our protector, it protects us from reliving painful experiences. They create stories around us not being good enough, unloveable, unworthy etc to protect us from emotional abandonment that we experienced when we were children.For example, common ego + vulnerable stories for me:
- I have to achieve to be loved
- I have to go above and beyond (even abondand my own needs) to make others happy
- If it isn’t done perfectly than I’ve failed and I haven’t achieved or am not loved
- I can’t trust others or make mistakes because then I won’t be loved or accepted
It is an unconscious pattern we block ourselves from our true potential & authentic self.
3 things I’ve learnt during ego work:
- NAME YOUR EGO: when we seperate our ego from ourselves, we start to recognise that these thoughts aren’t who we actually are, rather a protector and guide to help us heal past wounds. I named my Tabitha (no idea why, was just the first name that came to my head).
- BE CONCISOUS & NOTICE YOUR EGO: notice your ego for 2 weeks, even if it is just once a day. Notice every thing you say after the word “I.” Notice how often you speak about yourself or describe yourself.
Ego work for me has really changed the way I view myself, others and the world. It is giving me the knowledge to discover my true self & make myself happy, understand that I have all the inner resources to deal with situations (and no longer live in fear) and even more recently understand others in a much more compassionate way.
“Today is the day. I will conquer this pain and I will no longer let it control me, suffocate my thoughts, crush my heart or opaque my spirit. I have carried this cross too long, it is time to nail it once and for all”.Joanne Zammit