Overcome the fear of confrontation - Story and Co

May 31, 2021

Overcome the fear of confrontation


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By Jo Zammit

If you hide your true feelings to avoid conflict, being judged or being misunderstood…

Then you were probably taught as a child that confrontation is negative and causes drama. 

Whether it was through society or good-willed parents, you were either modeled or told that you can’t hurt other people’s feelings. 

Ultimately this results in the belief system that other people’s feelings are more important or valid than mine. Therefore it is more important to be liked than it is to possibly be judged or misunderstood or not being accepted by others. 

Why is this detrimental to you?

You are suppressing parts of yourself rather than accepting all of you, fully and completely. 

Everything is energy, including our thoughts and our emotions. Energy needs movement and needs to flow. When it becomes stuck or trapped (or even a blocked chakra), the emotion accumulates and when we suppress unresolved emotions, they ‘fill up’ and overflow. They can start to manifest in our relationships and our physical health.

Everything in our physical world is a projection of what is happening inside of us. People, situations and even health issues are ways our higher self is trying to communicate with us, what we need to pay attention to, accept or forgive and release.   

In order to be ok with speaking our truth and releasing any attachment to the outcome and redefine what confrontation is and how it can be healthy and useful for relationships, we need to fully acknowledge how a situation makes us feel and feel it – all of it. 

This is the beautiful approach of evoking the Divine Feminine in all of us. Our feminine energy is on our left side and it represents our ability to receive love. By acknowledging your feelings and receiving them, you accept and receive all of you, unapologetically. 

How to acknowledge my feelings:

  1. Honour your story. Start with writing a letter (which it will not be shown to anyone), telling the story from your standpoint. 

Prompt: The situation around which I have an upset is or was……..

  1. Confront (in your letter). I am upset with you,……….(insert name) because………
  2. Because of what you did (are doing), I FEEL (identify and name all the real emotions you are feeling)….
  3. Sign your letter: I lovingly recognise, accept and OWN my story and my feelings without judgement or shame and I lovingly see my feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation. 
  4. Feel these emotions through some form of movement (to get it flowing through your body). This could look like crying, dancing, running, yoga, punching a pillow to release anger – just acknowledge these emotions as you release them. Be aware during this process, that these emotions are not you nor do they define you, they are part of your human experience so you can evolve your soul. 
  5. Ask the Universe for support: please recycle my feelings …….(state them) back to love.
  6. Burn the letter you have written (do this safely in a metal bowl with sand) and allow the Universe to recycle your fear back to love 
  7. Practise this every time a situation arises over the next two weeks so you can use to acknowledging your feelings, accepting them without judgement and moving them through your body
  8. Meet your inner child. You can use this simple yet powerful technique to guide you. Close your eyes and try to remember the first time you may have felt these emotions. Whatever memory comes up is the right one for now. 
  9. Bend down to eye level, meet little you and repeat: 
  • What do you need?
  • I am here for you, you are safe, you are loved and you are worthy
  • I give you permission to express yourself and heal
  • Hug little you and honour their emotions 

Once you have practiced this and you are honoring your emotions it is important to look at the facts about the event (or acknowledging the part we may have played, as everything is vibrating to us for a reason). I suggest only doing this once you have acknowledged your story and your feelings. 

It is important to not ‘spiritually bypass’ the above, but rather sit with your emotions, meet them and then when you are ready you can reframe them and find the hidden messages.

Watch my video below to over this in more detail.

If you would like to learn more about this with specific guidance & support for your situation you can book a session with me by emailing: hello@storyandco.com.au and if you want to assist your children with this, you can with My Happy Book which you can purchase here.

love + grace

Jo xx

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